Having lost both parents, two uncles, a dozen friends and a stable of pets in recent years to the guise of physical death, I am no stranger to the power of grief. When unaddressed, the emotions associated with mourning can take hold of your life and drag you to the depths of darkness as the process unfolds. While the reasoning side of my brain said, “It is what it is, just get over it and move on,” my intuitive brain demanded a period of grief. As the logical side finally embraced the need for my soul to express these emotions, the heart began to understand and accept that death of the physical form is merely an illusion and that we truly are immortal, eternal beings as the soul is always present. With the help of healing stones, essential oils, and few rituals honoring my loved ones, the healing energy started flowing. Here’s how I alleviated my grief, felt closure, and found the light in spite of death.

Light a Candle

Burning candles in honor of a loved one is a symbolic form of love’s light continuing, and this can be rather comforting as you feel their presence in the flickering of the wick. I light one and set it aside a picture of a loved on their birth and death dates, relevant holidays, and times when I want to feel their presence or meditate upon their memory.

Capture Memories in Prose, Pictures, or Song

Storytelling over dinner, sharing photo albums, and even singing or playing a favorite song can create an ambiance awash with love and joy. Dispelling grief, lifting the spirits, and remembering ‘the good times’ is essential to moving past the pain. You’ll likely actually feel the spirit of your loved one resonating around you, through you, and comforting you to ease the mourning process as you uplift these positive energies in song, stories, and photos.

Create Tokens of Comfort and Remembrance

Tokens created in honor of the departed seem to resonate with their energy, particularly those hand-crafted with love such as rosary bead strands, jewelry laden with healing stones, or creating a crystal grid with soothing vibrations. Even a simple pocket stone can be remarkably comforting as you can hold and touch it when you’re ‘missing’ your beloved.

Connect to Gaia and Source

One of the best ways to achieve both of these healing endeavors is to head outdoors and meditate to commune with nature and your Higher Self. Sitting in the grass, taking a walk, or a period of stillness in the midst of your favorite scenery has a knack for easing grief. Feel the breeze, the cool air, or the hot sun shine upon your face, knowing these energetic forces of nature are all connecting you with your loved one’s eternal energy. Come to terms with the irrational fear of death in this time. Bring along some of healing crystals and take the opportunity to try the meditation for grief below.

Essential Oils and Healing Crystals to Calm the Spirit

Five of my preferred and most effective healing stones and crystals to ease grief are rose quartz, amethyst, apache tear, ruby, and moonstone. Exquisite essential oils I use for assistance include Angelica, Bergamot, and Frankincense, often in combination with stones.

1. Rose Quartz & Bergamot: By activating the heart chakra, rose quartz helps release buried and unexpressed emotions, making it ideal for those who resist the grieving experience. Bergamot also opens the heart and helps restore one’s sense of peace and self-compassion.

2. Amethyst: As a stone that assists in guiding one through the realms of life and death, it can be comforting and soothing to those left behind. Its effects upon the third eye and crown centers help clarify the immortality of the soul, bringing one a sense of closeness with loved ones in place of grief.

3. Apache Tear: This obsidian is known as ‘the grieving stone’ and it opens emotional barriers, releases grief, and shields one from psychic attacks while in a weakened psychological state such as grieving.

4. Ruby & Frankincense: This blazon beauty soothes and strengthens both the heart and base chakras to give one the impetus to move forward and remain centered in times of sorrow. Frankincense helps free ties to the past, further promoting progression of the grieving cycle.

5. Moonstone & Angelica: While angelica creates a deeper connection with departed loved ones and angels, moonstone purifies and diffuses negative energies that can keep one in a state of grief. This lovely combination promotes greater joy and optimism — two essentials in troubled times.

Meditation for Grief

Choose a stone to enhance your meditation and get comfortable in a quiet spot. You may want to take a moment to express your gratitude to your higher power and proclaim your openness to their guidance. Find your breath and focus your attention on each inhalation and exhalation until you feel completely relaxed.

Visualize the spiritual being that has passed on…With that vision in your head, consider what a blessing they were to you in this realm and all the times you shared together.  Do this with the knowledge and consideration that their soul and spirit lives on and surrounds you eternally.

Focus on the color of the healing stone you are working with and allow that color’s frequency to flow from your feet up through the front of you body as you inhale. Allow it to flow down through the back of your body with each exhalation and exit through your feet.

As you inhale and allow the color’s frequency to flow through you, imagine your departed one and remember the beautiful times you shared with the knowledge that those memories and their essence will continue to exist eternally.

As you exhale, allow yourself to consider and unresolved issues in your relations with you loved one. Any misunderstandings or unspoken words, allow them to flow out of you as the color frequency flows out through your feet. You may choose to speak these words aloud for greater resonance.

If at any point, you feel the urge to shed tears just allow them to flow, as this is part of the grieving process and each tear frees  you a bit more of your internal struggle. Simply refocus on your breath and continue this mediation process until you are ready return to full attention.

When closing your meditation, offer gratitude again to your higher power, express your eternal love for yourself and others, and allow yourself a few moments in silence to ‘process’ this experience.

Take Your Time…Have Patience and Self-Compassion

As you work through the mourning process, avoid the presence of those who mock your grief or lack compassion towards your feelings. Don’t judge for yourself or allow others to determine ‘how long’ your grieving process should be. Let it flow, and let it go at your own pace knowing that death is merely an illusion and that their spirit will always be ‘with’ you in spirit. Blessed be, And So It Is!

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