Week 1: Rose Quartz Solar
I received the Solar Rose Quartz pendant on a day that seemingly couldn’t have gotten much more challenging – and I was truly delighted to the point of girly squealing when I realized my dear friend and mentor had bestowed this lovely healing gift upon me. Gingerly and somewhat apprehensively taking it out of the box, there was a gentle tingling in my hand right away upon contact; I knew right away that this stone was resonating with me.
Gliding up the stairs to paw through the jewelry box for an appropriate chain seemed to take a lifetime, as I couldn’t wait to get the pendant nearest the chakra it’s designed to heal – the heart chakra. As with the initial touch, once I placed the stone around my neck I felt the vibrations but to a stronger extent – initially imbalanced for a moment. Although the strong feeling passed quickly, I have literally felt like I am vibrating a bit all week long when wearing the stone.
Knowing my tendencies well, my benefactor’s selection of the rose quartz couldn’t have been more appropriate. These tendencies of mine…are somewhat easier to talk about after a week of wearing the pendant, so I’ll just say for now that expressing feelings and even allowing myself to feel ‘feelings’ has been a lifetime challenging for me. Even though I have no trouble speaking my mind on most matters, expressing how I’m feeling about all those repressed, unexpressed, and unattained feelings is burdensome, but somehow easier every day as I realize those ‘feelings’ for myself. And am forced to acknowledge them…and am beckoned to heal them.
Knowing that setting intentions are vital to healing here is mine for the coming week: As a healing stone of the heart and throat chakra, my hopes are to use the rose quartz pendant more in meditation to elevate the process and discover a balance in those areas.
Week 2: Rose Quartz Solar
To wear or not to wear? That has become the question on some of the day this week that has dominated my mind. After the first week of wearing, I committed to doing some guided mediations with my pendant. Because my focus is on the heart chakra with a secondary focus on opening up the throat chakra too (honestly, they seem to go hand in hand in my experience, as I cannot shut up saying what my heart is feeling this week- getting me in trouble) I chose a calming mediation focusing on the fourth chakra. I’m feeling that my meditations may need to hone in on controlling that throat until I can get my heart straight. New intentions for this week set.
One thing I have determined is that I cannot sleep with my pendant around my neck, as it keeps me vibrating. I am already not sleeping well with so much on my mind and beginning to really make a connection with this stone…it’s like it’s a part of me, belongs to me, and is my friend. I find myself reaching for it all the time, and didn’t realize how much until it wasn’t there one morning. (I cannot sleep in my pendant, as it vibrates me to much and I am high strung!) Will continue to let myself go wherever this journey takes me, even if I am somewhat out of my element.
Weeks 3 and 4: Rose Quartz Solar
Two straight weeks of the same experiences – pretty much a vortex, a K-Hole without the Ketamine, maybe Black Hole would best describe these two weeks. Fortunately, these spells of darkness would be followed by a light, or at least a realization and sense of clarity in so many areas of the heart that have left ignored. My past understanding of how ‘healing’ works has been to put those hurts in the past and let go…sounds great in theory, but let me attest…clearly this does NOT work. Because every hurt I let rise to the surface made me cry like a baby and more than once. Sometimes for days. And then I seemed to gain the insight that REALLY resolving these issues was best. Yes, that meant taking some time to PROCESS the hurt, UNDERSTAND my perspective on it, SEE it for what it ACTUALLY was, and then reaching out to those who are part of that hurt – both deceased and alive.
This part was actually a lot of fun for me to do and it is what got me out of the vortex deep, dark hole I felt I had fallen into after week 2. I enjoyed getting beyond what I was holding inside, I enjoyed the tears and felt relief and clarity, and my heart felt open and receptive to all of those feelings. Apparently, the throat chakra had opened up as well because I DID talk to everyone of the people I could and had tremendous success in making peace with the bulk of them. My intentions were there and they could tell…and I believe it made all the difference that I could acknowledge my wrong doings and forgive theirs…and I forgave myself.
What I found MOST interesting is that even though I was holding all that hurt in…I really wasn’t fooling many people – not my REAL friends anyway. They seemed to understand my pain and were always optimistic that I would figure it out…go figure. Everyone else believed in me all along but me…tears now…
For me, this month has really been a time of learning to love me and finally giving consideration to truly embracing the love of others, something I’ve successfully kept at bay all of my life – even through marriage – being loved was hard. Easy to give love it is…harder to receive for me for certain… Is that a Yoda-ism or what?
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