The Empath’s Dating Survival Guide: 5 Tips for a Healthy Relationship
For empaths, dating can be filled with the highest highs and the lowest lows. If you’re an empath, you’re already aware of how being an antennae for others’ feelings isn’t always easy, especially in romantic relationships. The chances of being an empath are high if you experience social anxiety and just seem to ‘know’ what others are thinking or feeling. The extreme sensitivity that comes with being an empath, along with a natural tendency toward self-sacrifice, can make relationships dramatic and heartbreaking. But, by using these dating tips specifically created for empaths, you can find a relationship that provides you with the chance to give endless love and compassion — and receive the same in return.
Don’t rush the relationship: Like many empaths, you probably have an overwhelming desire to merge with your partner, body and soul, and it’s tempting to fantasize about the incredible intimacy you’ll share. But, it’s important to tap into your own empathy and realize that your partner may need more time to open up and get to your level. Talking about a past life you’ve shared together or how you’ve already sensed the future of your relationship could make your partner uncomfortable. After all, the best part of falling in love are the healthy surprises that go with it, and it can be unnerving to hear that you already know things will pan out! Instead of romanticizing the emotional connection you had with your partner on first sight, get to know your partner slowly and let the relationship progress naturally.
Keep the communication balanced: By your third or fourth date, you may feel deeply involved with your partner and have the urge to share your life’s story, including some of your most private memories. Although it’s tempting to be an open book to earn your partner’s sympathy and trust, this sets you up for potentially revealing intimate details of your life without receiving the same in return. If your relationship fizzles out unexpectedly, you may feel emotionally violated knowing your ex-lover has seen the depths of your heart when they didn’t deserve to. You also pose the risk of emotionally alienating your partner by getting too heavy too fast. Instead, focus on creating a balanced stream of communication, with equal give and take.
Avoid creating unrealistic expectations: When you feel you’re merging with someone on a soul level, it’s easy to accidentally create unrealistic expectations. Telling your partner after just a few months of dating that you sense you’ll be together always may seem like a harmless statement that expresses the depths of your love. But, by indulging in this thinking, you risk losing touch with reality. Empaths often suffer from a fear of losing those they love. However, making statements like ‘I’ll never leave you’ or ‘I just can’t live without you’ in order to create an indestructible attachment just does more harm than good. Although it’s sweet to be romantic, you don’t want to set yourself up for a co-dependent, anxious relationship.
Acknowledge your lover’s faults: Because you’re so compassionate, it’s easy to overlook your partner’s faults. Forgiving annoying quirks can be helpful, but sweeping more serious issues under the rug will set you up for unhappiness and heartbreak. If you find you’re making sacrifices and constant excuses for your partner’s bad behaviors, it’s time to meditate and ask yourself what you’re really getting from the relationship. Trust yourself, and realize that you deserve the best. And remember: it’s not your responsibility to take care of the weak and wounded at the expense of your own happiness.
Don’t resist change or parting ways: As an empath, it’s easier for you than most to sense when a relationship isn’t working. Because of your heightened sensitivity and desire to be loved, you may fear an impending breakup and do anything you can to keep your relationship alive. It’s challenging to realize that the person you love has become distant or a root cause of your unhappiness, and you may be tempted to do all that you can to recreate the beautiful connection you initially had. You must ask yourself: Do I love the person before me, or do I love the idealized version I’ve created of them? If you see qualities in your partner that may threaten the future stability of your relationship, communicate your feelings but don’t give into the urge to fix or change them. It’s important to recognize when it’s time to keep trying or let go. Use your keen insight to recognize when a relationship has served its purpose so you can move on to discover what fulfills you.
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