Relationships and Dating Should Be About Choosing – Not Being Chosen


There’s no denying the stroking of the Ego and sense of slight gratification you get when someone is attracted to you. The comfort of knowing someone sees something special in you, shares your perspectives, brings you pleasure with their company…this affirmation and attachment brings forth a sense of exhilaration that is one of the wonderful aspects of relationships.

However, if you are desperate for affirmation, attachment, and approval…then you’re likely to be satisfied any time you are selected by a potential mate. Rather than using your mind body spirit senses to determine the health and true potential in such relationships, you are feeling grateful to be chosen. I think it’s time more people embrace the concept of choosing more, and stop settling for whoever chooses them. Remember, Time is Only an Illusion, so there’s no rush.

The Trouble with Being Selected for Relationships

Put aside the flattery and the fluttering feelings when you are chosen for a moment, and ask yourself a few of these questions, and consider the potential problems that lie within any you may answer ‘yes’ to.

Would you rather go with the flow than make free will choices?

If you simply acquiesce yourself to an availability in your life, you are also making yourself freely available. As the Canadian rock band Rush says in the song Free Will, “If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.” Rather than freely flow into willing arms, make yourself the boss and embrace your choices.

Do your ‘issues’ – children, debt, relationships, immorality, health – intimidate you?

If your past intimidates you, then it surely will intimidate anyone you have in your life on a romantic level. Not only will they pick up on that energy, but they will sense your lack of confidence and hone in on your weaknesses, potentially exploiting them and taking advantage of your desperation for companionship.


Does being with ‘anyone’ seem better than being alone?

Now, I don’t even need to explain the problems here…but for those who need to hear it again – it’s always better to be alone than in an unsatisfactory relationship because you were selected. Sometimes, being alone is the only way you can discover who you really are, explore your spirituality, and free yourself of the past so that you are Living in the Now. Once you get settled in the present, you’ll find yourself making all the choices for yourself and highly empowered. If you must choose someone now – CHOOSE YOURSELF!!

Are feelings of ‘not being good enough’ or ‘worthy’ causing you to settle?

We all collect baggage in our lives, whether it stems from heart break, abusive relationships, a strict upbringing, or religious beliefs, etc. Hurts and fears are the biggest source of feelings of unworthiness in the human race, and until you can get past those and forgive yourself – you’re likely to continue to settle throughout your life.

DatingDo you believe in fairy tale romances?

Dreams can only carry you so far…Don’t allow sex to be an antidote for loneliness, because even in the most passionate of romances the glitter and shine typically wear off. It’s then that the Prince Charming you fell asleep to wakes up next to you one day as a total stranger…

Don’t you deserve the best?

Of course you do! When you’re chosen by someone, the flattery may temporarily blind you to the truth of who that person really is, and you’ll likely only see what you want to see on the surface. Consider this, when you find someone who you believe is the BEST for you, won’t you know it? Then you can choose them!

Quiet the Mind, Lose the Ego, and begin manifesting the relationship you want to create – start from within, heal yourself, and let the magic unfold – when you are ready to make a choice.

©Universal Copyright 2014 is authorized here. Please distribute freely as long as both the author Stephanie Lucas and are included as the resource and this information is distributed on a non-commercial no charge basis.

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